To the Woman Who Saved My Life

To the woman who saved my life,

We met once when I was born 23 years ago. As a young girl I would create this image about you. What you looked like and wonder about your personality. My mom growing up always told me the story of how I became hers. In that story, there’s a missing piece. From the day I was born to 14 months old; a lot happened between those months. But that’s okay. I do not what to know that from you. I would rather believe you gave me up so I can have a better life than to know the truth. I read a book that was about chinese adoption how some women in China did horrible things to do to not have a baby girl, but you didn’t do those horrible things. You knew there was a better way to handle the situation. You knew that I would be found in front of the food store and not in the trash can. You knew in your heart that you could not kill me at birth, you let me live. You made your own decision to let me have a different life. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you to leave me in front of the food store. No one should ever have to feel that pain. You and I have gone through the same pain. To lose one another within a day. There’s the pain of wondering where you are or what happened to you once you placed me at the food store. I know what you did for me is a selfless thing for me and my family. Many people can not do what you did.

I sometimes forget about you and so does my family. You out of all people should not be forgotten in my story. When I do think about you especially my birthday and Mother’s Day, I always wish you are well. If there was a way I could help you now as I am an adult I would do anything. The way I’ve been dealing with this is to have the mindset to thank you by living. That’s it. If I can live and survive everyday either in a good or bad way I lived. I am the living version of you. I live for myself and you. I carry you with me. Always. If you could see me now, I hope you are proud of me. To see my run in the sport I love. To see me turn 23. To have seen me graduate high school and getting the opportunity to go to college. You gave me things I couldn’t get it if I stayed in China and you knew that. You did an act that shows love for another human being that does not get recognized. They say our relationship is the wound that never heals. That we will always feel in our heart that something is missing. That we will not be a whole person. We feel that pain everyday that a piece of our heart is empty. Both you and I know my mom cannot fill that missing part in my heart. But we continue to fight. I forgive you and the choice you made.  

Sincerely,

The girl you gave birth to

 

I Believe in Adoption

The Gift of Life

“I didn’t give you the gift of life,

But in my heart I know.

The love I feel is deep and real,

As if it had been so.

For us to have each other

Is like a dream come true!

No, I didn’t give you

The gift of life,

Life gave me the gift of you.”

-Unknown 

This quote from an anonymous poem about adoption is very meaningful to me. As I grew up the poem remained on my mind and has given me inspiration. My name is Rebecca and I was born in Yangjiang, China. When I was about 14 months old my parents adopted me and brought me to the United States. That was in 1997. In the 1990s, over 220,000 children were placed for adoption in the United States. Some of these children were domestically born, some were foreign born, some were young, and some were older. For all these children, including me, life is a lot different than it would have been without adoption. It changes children’s lives forever. 

Kids are put up for adoption for many different reasons. I like to believe that I was put up for adoption as a baby because my biological mother wanted me to have a better life and education than I would have received in China. Other times a child’s family may not have the time, money, or ability to take care of a child. Adoptive parents provide the love, care, and stability that these children need. As the poem says, one mother gives you life and the other lets you experience that life. I know my biological mother loved me because she was willing to place me for adoption so that my adoptive mother and father could have the opportunity to love me and care for me. 

There are many people who ask whether heredity or environment make you who you are. I believe it is a combination of both. My heredity gives me my personality and my appearance, but my environment shapes my thoughts, actions, and character. Adoption didn’t change the fact that I am Chinese; instead it gave me a chance to experience things that I would otherwise not have been able to experience. 

Adoption is not a dirty word, it never was. There is always another way that has a good outcome. Some people have a hard time talking about adoption, but if people know it is a very positive way to form a family, more people might consider it as an option.   

This I believe