It’s my senior year at Elmhurst University and I cannot wait to start my career. I’m getting my undergrad in Psychology and a minor in coaching. Finally after 6 years when I first started my college career I’m getting my undergrad. For the first time in a long time I’m excited about my future. This fall I’m starting to look into graduate schools as well. I really want to get into Southern Illinois University- Edwardsville. They have an Exercise and Sport Psychology Masters Program. Just one more step closer to becoming a Sport Psychologist. After leaving school twice for treatment for my eating disorder I thought that i wasn’t ever going to return back to school. I thought that all my life was going to be treatment center after treatment center. It’s taken me roughly 9-10 years to realize that I was worth saving. I can’t believe that it’s been that long ago since my eating disorder began. Feels so long ago, but can remember that day so perfectly when things changed in my life. I still have my moments where I struggle with my eating disorder, but I’m more knowledgeable about how to get myself out of a relapse when I do. I know I still have lots to learn about myself, but hey that’s the journey of life right?
I was never a fan of change. Change meant that everything was never going to be the same. I wanted my life to be the same, because it was all I’ve ever known since I was 13 years old when my eating disorder developed. Going into treatment I knew that I needed to change, but I didn’t want to admit that. Not to them and not to myself. At my first treatment center, Timberline Knolls, I was introduced to the 12 step program. I thought that the 12 step was a joke and didn’t think I could learn anything from it, but I did within the first 2 weeks being there. I saw how the serenity prayer and 12 step program worked for these women. I saw the change in them and I wanted that change too.
Serenity Prayer – Full Version (composed in 1940s)
by Reinhold Neibuhr
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen.
1.God, grant me the serenity…
Serenity is akin to calmness. When we lack serenity, we tend to feel stressful and agitated. It’s difficult to make sensible decisions when in this negative state of mind. When we are stressed, we are likely to act impulsively and on our emotions. Doing so can have far-reaching negative consequences. Asking for serenity is a wise decision, particularly when you are about to act in a way that could result in long-term emotional or physical harm.
Stress is very much a modern disease that’s linked to a whole range of ailments such as cancer, heart disease, obesity and premature death. This backdrop means the Serenity Prayer could never be more relevant to the lives of addicts and non-addicts alike.
2. To accept the things I cannot change…
Although accepting the things you cannot change makes utter logical sense, each and every one of us is guilty of obsessing over matters that we are not in any way capable or likely to influence. The word ‘accept’ is also significant because to accept means you are accepting the present moment without resistance of any kind. The word ‘accept’ hints at your emotional ability to bear and even accept hardship that’s not immediately within your power to change. It’s worth mentioning that your ability to accept hardship is aided by practising mindfulness meditation because both support the goal of overcoming negativity and experiencing the present moment as a neutral observer. Attempting to control the uncontrollable is utter madness and will, significantly, always result in either absolute failure or results that are far from ideal. To do so is an unprofitable use of your time and energy.
Some of us are entirely consumed in attempting to alter things outside our control. The sadness is that many of these people are not aware that they are attempting to change something that simply cannot be changed. A classic example of this sort of maladaptive behaviour is the wish to change the behaviour of another person. In truth, it is all but impossible to compel a person to change his or her ways, no matter how hard you try. It’s interesting to note that this part of the serenity prayer supports Step 1 of the 12 Steps where it says “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
3. The courage to change the things I can…
This sentence challenges you to examine the things in life that you can change. The magic word in this sentence is ‘can’. One significant thing you can change is yourself. Change is usually difficult and even painful for most. Change almost always requires significant personal sacrifice in multiple areas of your life. Lasting change also requires substantial self-determination and self-examination. Many people lack the courage to carry out a thorough self-examination because they are afraid they may not like what they find.Doing so will typically mean you lack the courage to change the things you are able to influence in your life.
Demanding a level of personal responsibility is about taking ownership of the things you are able to change. Resentment towards others is one sign you are unnecessarily conceding control to outside forces. We feel personal change means you must take radical responsibility for all aspects of your life. This includes setting boundaries of what you will and what not to accept from others. Doing so means you are able to enforce matters that are within your realm of control. Altering your life’s course is not for the faint-hearted, and thus it is not surprising that the Serenity Prayer uses the word ‘courage’ in its text. Often, changing things within your power often results in either distancing yourself from or eliminating things in your life that you cannot directly change.
4. And the wisdom to know the difference…
For many, this last sentence of the Serenity Prayer is the most significant. Why? Because knowing the difference between what we can change and what we cannot is, in practical terms, never that straightforward. This may be because many of our decisions are driven by emotion rather than logic. This means most of us are guilty of trying to change things we are unable to change whilst neglecting the things that could actually make a difference. Perhaps this is because, at some deep psychological level, we are afraid to implement things that we know are capable of instigating changes to how we live our lives, even if those changes are well within our best interest. Knowing this distinction between what we can and cannot change is often a prerequisite for enacting lasting positive change. It also allows us to focus our efforts on areas we are capable of influencing whilst allowing us to avoid wasting our precious time and energy on areas we are simply unable to change. The word ‘wisdom’ is akin to knowledge and experience. If you have faith, you will gain this wisdom with time. Reciting the Serenity Prayer will help to instil this wisdom into your thoughts almost unconsciously. We feel the word ‘wisdom’ is interchangeable with the word ‘ability’ or ‘skill’. Thus, it may be argued the Serenity Prayer isn’t so much a prayer but more a set of instructions for successful living.
iamwilling 